Having fun at our wedding 4 years ago
Today is Fred and I’s 4th anniversary.
I’m currently sitting on a couch, watching Gilmore Girls and wearing my pajamas, and Fred is at a mandatory event at the school he works at. Some people might look at this situation and think “That’s so sad! Why aren’t you celebrating? I can’t believe you’re alone on your anniversary.”
But I’ve never been happier.
We learned at a marriage retreat that year four is the most common year for divorce in Canada. Although it’s never been a real threat for our marriage, I feel like we have reached a significant milestone.
Last night we went out for dinner to celebrate our anniversary and my birthday (which is tomorrow). We budgeted $80 for this dinner. I took it out with the rest of our cash for the month and put it aside so it would be there for our celebration.
As we were deciding where we wanted to eat to celebrate these two events, I said, “I don’t want to spend $80 on dinner. I’d rather put it on debt.”
We took $40 and put it on the line of credit we hope to pay off by August (or at least by the end of 2014). We then took $30 and went to White Spot, where we enjoyed a simple meal. I got fish and chips, Fred got a burger and a salad, and we shared (the salad was for me – we split the fries because they’re endless).
Post-anniversary dinner last night
It wasn’t fancy, but it was great. We came home, ate a dessert that I had made the day before, and spent the evening together. It was perfect. We loved having a night together to just hang out, and we realized that didn’t need to spend $80 to celebrate and enjoy each other’s company.
This whole experience really caused me to think about our society’s expectations for celebrating milestones in our lives.
I want to know when we decided as a society that staying together for another year can only marked by a fancy dinner, a vacation, or a huge gift.
Now I know that not everyone believes this, but I somehow had this in my mind that as a married woman, I needed to do a good job every year on this day by planning something fancy, buying a gift, or spending lots of money. I felt like a bad spouse when I realized that this isn’t what our anniversaries would like look as we were trying to get out of debt (or maybe ever).
I think the celebration should happen every day in the small moments: when you forgive each other even when you don’t want to, when you see each other every day and still want to spend time together, and when you make your budget for the month and it feels like a party because you’re on the same page.
I’m happy. My husband and I still like each other, we believe in the same things, we’re working together when it comes to our money, and we’re committed to each other. What dinner, or other conventional method of celebration for an anniversary, could encapsulate and properly honor all of that?
Want to make sure you never miss a post (where I’m either musing about life or sharing a helpful tip to save money)? Subscribe to my newsletter and I’ll keep you in the loop every time I write a blog!